(Note: as I struggle with learning a foreign language, I wrote this little piece. It’s supposed to be humorous – or is it?)
This semester we have learned how to ask for directions to the library, analyzed passages by the greatest of the foreign language’s authors,and parsed details about the proper uses of the subjunctive tense. This exam will show whether you can use the foreign language to live and work in another country. Each question is worth 20%.
1) The lock on the door of your Airbnb breaks and you cannot get out of the apartment. Your host sends a locksmith, who is yelling questions and instructions to you through the door. Can you help the locksmith out? In your blue book, draw a lock and label its parts.
2) You decide to take a folkloric embroidery class to learn more about the local culture. As Venmo is not a thing where you are, you go to the local bank’s ATM to deposit the payment in the embroidery shop’s account. The machine takes your money and does not credit it, nor does it return it to you. What do you tell the bank’s customer service staff? (Assume that the telephone menu allows you to talk to a human being.)
3) You go to get your hair done. You want a few additional highlights, enough to blend in the new growth, and just the ends trimmed. What do you say?
4) Assume that your answer to Question 3 is wrong. Your hair is now much shorter, bleached almost white, and the texture of straw. Write a scathing review on the local equivalent of Yelp, without sounding like an entitled gringa with limited foreign language skills.
5) You book your flight home on a discount airline. Their policy requires international check-in two hours before flight time. You check in one hour and 55 minutes before, only to find that your reservation has been cancelled. You can book a flight tomorrow for a change fee of $150 US. List all the swear words you will use.
